Mindfulness with Kat

Whew!  I’m not going to lie – this last month of working on not using my phone was really, really hard.  I did not fully succeed, which is OK!  

I was aware of most of the ways I use my phone, but the areas that stood out to me over this month were:

  • Using my phone to pass time.  I struggled with this in small moments – waiting in lines, a couple minutes before a meeting starts, etc.  I’m not able to pull out a book, or my knitting in some of these moments, so a phone is an easy way to amuse my brain.

  • Using my phone to give myself breaks.  I take time to play a quick game, look at social media, etc. as a way to disconnect from what I’m doing for a few moments.

  • Using my phone as a way to stay connected to my community.  I don’t have a lot of time to hang out with friends, or go to events, so I use my phone as a way to stay in touch, to do community organizing, and to coordinate meetings and meet ups.

  • Using my phone as a way to disconnect from everything around me when my anxiety gets really bad.

I also noticed that I was present more.  I had more conversations with my partner, interacted with my teenager more, and (tbh) got a lot more done at work.  I found that although I use my phone as a way to disconnect when I’m anxious, it often leaves me feeling more anxious, as I don’t have my normal ability to let social media bs roll off my back, and so I disconnect more, and it becomes circular.  The times I really realized what was happening and put the phone down, my anxiety settled down faster, however, it lingered at a lower level longer then when I use my phone.

As a result of this experiment, I feel like I have more direction in where I want to go with mindfulness.

I want to learn to sit in small moments of quiet.  During the days when I was not on my phone, I noticed, I often don’t know what to do with my body when I’m waiting.  Like, I don’t know how to hold my body, and I start getting self-conscious about what my arms are doing, or if I’m standing up straight, or whatever.  This is, clearly, tied into my anxiety, and I’m going to explore this more.

And, I want to explore how to sit with my anxiety more.  To not just disconnect completely, but rather allow it to exist without destroying me.

I am going to continue to work on lowering the amount of time I am spending on my phone.  I am also going to work on mindfulness in relation to my anxiety.  

Kat is a yoga teacher (RYT200), student, partner, mother, and all- around badass woman. She is honored to share her thoughts with her YogaQuest Community. 

Kat is a yoga teacher (RYT200), student, partner, mother, and all- around badass woman. She is honored to share her thoughts with her YogaQuest Community.